Faith seems to come in surges, then mysteriously shrinks away like the ocean tide. When we sense God’s nearness and see prayers answered, our faith bank is filled.
But what about when trials linger and we no longer feel the stir of the Holy Spirit as we worship? When we can’t hear God’s voice or feel His presence?
Feeling abandoned at such a time, I wrote:
Lord, Your Word says that if I seek You, You will be found. I don’t know any other way to seek You than to cry out to You. But it’s not working.
Some time later, I attended a worship service where people all around were worshipping. Some weeping, others sweetly praising God’s name in song and prayer.
I thought, “Lord, why am I not feeling anything? I know You’re here and I’m not supposed to base everything on feelings. But others are obviously feeling You, and I want that, too.”
I knew the Bible teaches that the Lord inhabits the praises of His people. “Okay, Lord,” I prayed. “Feelings or not, I’m going to praise You.”
As I shut my eyes and began giving thanks, I suddenly envisioned Jesus sitting with a crowd, ministering to them. I stood, as a small child, watching from a distance. I wanted so badly to be with Jesus. But, I thought, “No, He’s busy, and they need Him right now. I need to stand back—it’s not my time.”
So I stayed put, yearning to go to Jesus.
Suddenly, Jesus looked my way. He had so much love in His eyes for me. It was the only touch I needed. I started to cry, but Jesus didn’t stop there. He got up from the crowd and walked over, picked me up, and carried me back to where He was sitting. I sat next to Him, and He put His arm around me and pulled me close.
I didn’t want to leave. I could hardly believe Jesus was touching me. But after a few minutes, I sat up. “Lord, I need to go.”
“Because all these people need Your touch.”
“Barbie,” He said. “Do you know what omnipresent means?”
“Yes. Everywhere at the same time.”
Jesus smiled. “You know what? I can be all things to all these people while I’m sitting here holding you. If you need to lie on My shoulder forever, it’s okay. Don’t leave.”
So I sat in His presence, soaking up His love. His touch. His time.
Earlier God was silent. Why does He do that at times?
Perhaps He has something to say and is waiting for us to listen.
Perhaps He realizes we come to Him mainly with requests. So He steps back until we become hungry enough to seek His fellowship.
God longs for us to run to His side, hug His neck, curl up in His embrace, and simply bask in His love. An intimate time where no words are needed. A time of silent comfort and joy and peace. Together.
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