I love to go to bed at night with praise music. Resting in God’s presence, I listen, pray, and praise until I fall asleep in His arms. But the other night was different. As I asked the Holy Spirit to show me who He wanted me to pray for, He impressed on my heart that I should neither pray nor praise. What was that about?
“Just relax, and allow me to fill you to overflowing with everything you need to reach those I’ve placed in your path.” I was overwhelmed with the love and peace of God, as visions of His working in me in various capacities drifted through my mind.
Words can’t explain the growing power I felt as I continued to rest. I cried and re-surrendered my life in every way. “Search me, O God,” I begged. “And know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
I thought of my blog on forgiveness and asked Him what He wanted me to share next. He said to stop talking and rest. I loved it.
The next day I was out and about and saw a person I hadn’t seen for a couple of years. Just the sight of this person caused me to grit my teeth and slip into a foul mood. Whoa! Where had that come from? Was this an “offensive way in me” that God was revealing?
You bet it was. And the precious thing about it is that I realized this person had really done nothing to me. We were involved in a crazy situation in which we were placed at odds with one another without any intention on either of our parts.
What God showed me next broke my heart in a repentant way. As I realized I had carried this ill will for years, God revealed the underlying reason: I hadn’t been able to solve that situation. I hadn’t come out shining. As hard as I had tried to do the right thing, I had failed. And that left a very bad taste in my spirit. The other person didn’t need my forgiveness. I did.
Amazing revelation. Blessed freedom. As we walk though this study on forgiveness, let’s ask God to reveal any offensive way in our hearts. And when He does, let’s be sure to take the time to let Him finish the work.
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” That’s what God asked of me that night. I’m so glad I was attentive to His voice and followed His direction.
Barbara E. Haley
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